Brushing against my face, the wind is forceful and rough
With every touch, it burns the skin. Oh! You know it hurts.
"Bottomless ditch awaits me,
Catch me dear, if I fall.
Give me wings and let me fly
Because I no more want to crawl"
Your unkept promise still rings in my ears
It fools me through a facade of bliss
Drowns me deeper and deeper into nowhere
“I will never let you fall, I promise.”
Weak, I stand and sore feet bleed
Eyes are shut, the soul is freed.
To build my strength, I cradle a hope
To outshine the evil, I cradle it again
I smile at the death of this fiery wind
Laugh at the canvas which was once blue
Take pride in the rise of my sun, my world
And celebrate the birth of me without you!
Give me wings and let me fly,
ReplyDeletebecause i no more want to crawl
I'd like to see the phoenix rising from all the shackles and the bondages that burn it and hold it down. To rise back from ash.
ReplyDeleteNice read.
Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete
I couldn't relate to it as a "dark" poetry, as you mentioned in the labels. Apart from that, a fair read.
ReplyDeleteP.S: My idea of a dark piece has changed multi-folds.
"The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead" said Robert Brault. Optimisim is what I see through each word, that you wrote :)
ReplyDelete"Take pride in the rise of my sun, my world
And celebrate the birth of me without you!"
...I see you glass 3/4th full already, at times the best of negatives act more as positive stimulants.
Vinati, this is one of the best piece out of all I've read from you :)
@Red Handed
ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping by! :)
@Blasphemous Aesthete
The phoenix will make it big..for sure! thank you. :)
@Shruti
ReplyDeleteI understand why you cannot relate it to dark because overall the poem is about a new beginning. But while giving labels to this piece, I found the sadness instilled in the first few lines, very deep. And also, the same can be credited to my state of mind while writing it.
Anyway, thank you so much for dropping by! :)
@Sourav
ReplyDeleteI like Brault's quote....very inspiring!
And thank you so much for you appreciation. Sometimes, in the darkest of hours, a little ray of praise can help a lot!
Thank you once again.. :)
me without you ! outrageous :)
ReplyDeleteFirst time at your blog and am glad i came across. Lovely and inspiring one.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes with your endeavors.
Rather nice! :)
ReplyDeleteI am no poet, but I would however, make a suggestion. Sometimes, more than rhyming your lines, you got to keep in mind the meaning of the words and how much significance they carry to the previous line. I guess, in tryin to rhyme, there are times when you have lost out on the flow of the poem. But hey, thats me! :)
wishes
Scribblers Inc.
P.S.-Glad you liked the story on The Writer's Lounge. Do trip to my blog and see what you like! :)
Vinati,
ReplyDeleteAs I said, my idea of dark poetry has changed. Studying Literature has given me new meanings and definitions of various genres of writing. Thus, I couldn't relate to it as a piece of dark poetry. I dont think one should relate just sadness to this genre. There is a lot more to writing dark. I do not intend to critique your style of writing. Not many people are able to pen down what they think or feel. You have that. So keep it coming.
Nevertheless it was a good read overall.
Woah. That was sorta intense. :-) Loved it. The last line especially.
ReplyDelete@Rachit
ReplyDeleteoutrageous..really? :P
@Dishita
Thank you so much for dropping by and for following my blog too :)
@Scribbles Inc.
I always give more emphasis to the meaning and even here I tried my level best not to deviate from the flow because in the beginning I did not intend to make it a full-fledged poem. I just wanted to give an outlet to the thousands of thoughts that were flushing in my mind. Guess, that did not work well.
Anyway, thanks a lot for dropping by my blog. Hope to see you again! :)
@Shruti
Hmm.. I agree that dark poetry covers different aspects and as you are pursuing Eng Hon., you are bound to have a deeper and profound understanding of literary pieces. While I'm just a naive in this field.
Thank you again for sharing your views! :)
@Zeba
Hey thanks a lot! :)
I loved the thoughts behind the post. You managed to get that through your lines too. Wishes & prayers.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kochuravi :)
ReplyDeleteimpressive!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Raam Pyari :)
ReplyDelete@ MSM
Thank you so much! :)