Of midnight apparition and coffee dregs.

Behind your silent, unperturbed eyes
i'm aware of the currents, love
thrashing against the walls of this
make believe void as i watch you looking across the window
with a big broken glass.

Maybe we are nothing but a drunk writer's imagination,
diabolically giving us dreams
of pretty laughs
and dreamy nights
of callous truths
and inaudible cries

and maybe I've waited too long
for dust to settle down,

but i don't want to shut these eyes.
It is a trick..
shh, the moment will pass
and in the unwelcomed strangeness,

       i'll be lost again

with the big broken glass
of that haunting window
and the biting cold that creeps through
and your tar black mug
and unfinished coffee dregs.
______

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The movie that made me cry.

You know how they say that change is the only constant thing in our lives. That this moment, right here is going to pass as quickly as it came yet it will leave a mark in someone's life before vanishing into oblivion. That time changes everything, every person. But it becomes all the more miraculous when you actually identify the gradual change in yourself.

After waiting for months, I finally got a chance to watch The Fault in Our Stars on the big screen today. For those of you who are still unaware, the movie is based on the bestselling novel written by John Green. A novel which breathed life into my heart with every word, every line and every page. A novel which moved me to tears in one chapter and comforted me warmly in another.

I knew I would cry while watching the movie too. It was as natural as the sun rising from the east and setting in the west. But what I had not expected of myself is that I would hate to see many people sitting in the hall watching the movie for which I'd waited so long. The moment I entered, my heart was awash by extreme possessiveness. I felt angry and sad as I had to share it with those many people. The novel was something I loved wholeheartedly, like something personal, only to be felt by me, only to be loved by me. I felt that my personal space was being trespassed by those who were there just because they had nothing else to do on a weekend, who could not even keep their stupid cell phones on silent for two hours. For me, it was a lot more than that. It was like giving countenance to the characters I fell in love with months ago. It was like meeting Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters personally.

It's silly, I know! But I don't want to make sense right now.

The bottom line is that I have changed. From a girl who used to wonder why her mom cries while watching soppy movies to being a girl who has subconsciously started doing the same. I never felt like this before, never cursed people around me for intruding one of my favorite stories and never felt too possessive for fictitious characters. Sometimes you are unsure whether you've changed for the better and this is one such time.

Also, this is the reason why I hate to share my copy of novels with anyone.

_________

P.S: 1. The movie is excellent.

2. During the interval, I ran into one of my batch mates from college and she said she was not enjoying the movie at all. -_-

The Hey Guy.

I have been wanting to write about a person since many months. It happens every time I hear from him but it slips out of my mind the very next day.

Having been a part of the Facebook world, I have observed that there are usually three kinds of people who appear online on messenger.

1. Those who see your message and go offline immediately.
2. Those who see your message, remain online and choose to ignore you anyway.
3. Those who open a small chat with you once in a while.
4. And then there is this person. Let's call him Mr. X.

Guilty of all of the above mentioned situations, except of course the 4th point.

Mr. X was my classmate in high school. Not a friend, just classmate, like the ones who do not even fall in the category of acquaintances because you know only their names. Never talk to them, never hear their voice.. only their names!

Years ago, I removed him from my friend list for some reason which I gradually forgot. After many months later when I received his request again, I added him and went on with my life. But oh dear god, this guy soon made me realize why I removed him in the first place.

I rarely go online on Facebook because I am not much of a social person. But whenever I go, Mr. X pings me 'Hey'.

Just that!

I see his message and go offline or I see his message and ignore him bluntly, yet he doesn't deter. It's been two years and the trend has continued. I look at the chat history and there is nothing but a series of 'Hey' messages lined up from his side.

It is harmless but at the same time, it is extremely irritating. Like water leaking from the ceiling of your room, drop by drop, testing your patience in every fifty seconds while you sit there cursing it to stop because you just cannot fix it by yourself.

I am extremely curious to know why the hell he is acting like a freak who has no life but there is a part of me which is scared because I don't know what it might stir in the head of an already creepy guy or it might bring down the wall covering some greater menace. So I think I'm just going to wait for him to disappear into oblivion. And that my dear friend, is the master plan.

________

There is nothing more tragic than reality.

When small pieces of love
are blown away by a single breath of wind

in a whirlpool of broken sentences,

you stand still at the center and watch them
dancing in disturbed,
tired patterns
till they gradually fall on the concrete, 
placing themselves
like a longing that found its end before life.
You don't rush to get hold of them.
You don't try to put them back in their right places.
You let go, for now and forever
because there is nothing more tragic than reality.
______

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